He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
