i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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