mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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