She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
