arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
