oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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