You're completely useless in the revolution.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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