i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
