dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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