the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize