im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
