i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
