dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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