Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
