Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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