nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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