come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize