I will die if light touches me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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