p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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