i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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