fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
