she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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