remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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