New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize