Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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