So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
