Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
