One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
