how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Still dying that you shit outside
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize