I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Drake has all the answers
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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