Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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