Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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