Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
