My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize