shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
