Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
