Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
