Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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