it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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