I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
