If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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