well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
