i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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