Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
