i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
