Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
only you would photoshop your dick
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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