I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
