bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
