Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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