i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
