I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
