dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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