i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
