Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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