Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
