Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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