..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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