Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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