I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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