Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize