smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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