Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize