Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it's like heaven, but drunker
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
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